Dating Part 1: Contentment

Hi, y'all!

I have a confession to make to you ladies: the reason I haven't posted in a while is because I've had quite a rough time figuring out what to say on the subject of contentment while not dating. It's been a struggle for me to write on this topic because, quite honestly, it's a personal struggle for me.

I'm one of those girls that has always been friends with guys (trust me, this is actually a blessing), yet they never seem to think of me as more than that. I've struggled with thoughts like, "Why doesn't he like me?"  "Am I really that unattractive?" and simply, "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" I know a lot of you can relate to these feelings and various others like them.

Most of us have seen at least one old movie in our lifetime. I love old movies; if I got a classic movie channel, I would be extremely unproductive. Anyway, we all know that at the end of an old movie, the handsome man gets the beautiful girl. Sometimes though in real life, the old movie thing doesn't quite work out. Sometimes the handsome man find a different girl; sometimes the handsome man doesn't feel the same way you do; and sometimes the handsome man ends up not having a handsome personality to match his looks.

If you're going through this right now, I want to speak directly to your heart: it's going to be ok. I know how it feels to think, "I thought he was wonderful! I thought he was the one!!! I'll never like another man!" What I've learned is that, no matter how great the guy that you're missing was, if he's not the one God has planned to be in your life, there's a better one for you out there; there's a better one out there for you!!! We may not feel like it, but God is gracious and doesn't let our current emotions change the truth.

God is not One who will give you second best. He has the best guy for you in His plans. The man who you marry won't be perfect, but he'll be the one you want to spend the rest of you life with, regardless of his flaws.

The most important One to remember, whether you're in a relationship currently or not, is God. God is the One who meets every need that you have. God is the One who loves you more than any imperfect man ever could. God is the One who will love you through everything, never destroy you, and work even the hardest parts of your life for your good. He's the One who wrote the definition of love! (See 1 Corinthians 13)

Psalm 63:3 says, "Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." Did you notice that the Psalmist says God's love for us is better than life? It's better than any other love we could ever find because love from sinful humans will be tainted by their sin and our sin. God's love is perfect and perfectly holy because He is perfect and perfectly holy. And to think that He loves us through Christ even though we ourselves are far from being perfect (or even mildly righteous)?! God is truly amazing!!!!

God's love will always be the best love we could ever find. In His timing, God will provide the right man for each of us who are ordained to be married. Don't despair here; most of us are ordained to be married and, if we're not, we're given special grace to handle it (Matthew 19:10-12; 1 Corinthians 7:1-7).

Until that time, celebrate that you are able to minister to your friends while you're single more often than you would be able to if you had a boyfriend (not saying boyfriends are bad, just saying take the opportunities that you're currently given). At all times, celebrate the Lord and praise Him for His wonderful works to the children of men (Psalm 107)!

In His perfect love,

Trust Issues....

Hey, y'all!

Today, I want to talk about a rather uncomfortable issue for me; the issue of trust. Trust issues are something that many people struggle with, including me. Quite honestly, I can't pinpoint why. My family is great, my friends are amazing, my puppies are the most adorable ones in the world, so why do I have trust issues?

Maybe it's because I've given my heart away to several guys when they didn't earn it (and some of them didn't deserve it). Maybe it's because when I was young one of my close friends "abandoned me" (though all she really did was move on). I just don't know why I have problems trusting others.

What I do know is that I wasn't made to live this way; I was not made to live in fear of being hurt. I was not made to live in fear of being ridiculed and embarrassed. I simply have come to my breaking point. I cannot, I will not, go on living in this fearful manner. It's ungodly and damaging to my spiritual life.

It's damaging to my spiritual life because I am essentially saying, "I don't trust God with relationships enough to let Him control what happens to me and what other people do." That is an ungodly attitude, if I've ever heard one! Paul says in Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (NKJV) Instead of fearing the future, what I should be doing is thanking God for the present and trusting that, because of His goodness and love for me, He will not allow anything that doesn't in the end turn out for my good to happen! Now, this doesn't mean that you will never get hurt. We are all sinners, so even Christians will sometimes hurt other Christians. We may even not mean to hurt each other, but we still do, whether we mean to or not.

The promise of Romans 8:28 also doesn't mean that if your best friend suddenly finds someone else to spend her time with, eventually she will become your best friend again. God does do that, but He doesn't promise to always do that. He promises that no matter what happens, it will be for your good in the end. The circumstances may have changed a big part of your life, but there is always a reason. You will prayerfully grow closer to the Lord through the tough time. And additionally, you may become closer to another friend, whom you never would have gotten to know as well had your best friend not taken a step back.

As human beings, we were made to have relationships with one another. Most of us are not made to stay in a room by ourselves all the time and never see anyone else. I know I can't. I'm a very social person, even though I'm extremely shy, and staying by myself for too long would drive me crazy! Yet oftentimes because of my fear, I am afraid to speak with others or even smile at someone. My personal shyness cuts me off from people; my shyness comes from fear and lack of faith. Fear and lack of faith harm my relationships with God and with other people

Relationships are a blessing from the Lord, but they do involve big steps of faith. Faith that the other person won't betray your trust, and faith that, if they do, God will take care of you, no matter how much the broken relationship hurts. Faith is a gigantic step, but it's a gigantic step in the right direction.

So, no matter how scary it may be to talk to a new person or say yes to that cute guy when he asks you out on a date (assuming he is a Christian, but that's for another post), you should step out in courage. No matter what happens, God is there with you. "The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore." (Psalm 121:7-8, NKJV)

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! God bless you and always remember, "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6, NKJV)

Love in Christ,