Pride and Prejudice

“Oh, I can’t be friends with so-and-so because they’re better at this than I am.” 

“She’s prettier than me, I can’t talk to her.”

“He’s too smart for me to hang out with him.”

How many times a week do thoughts like this run through our minds? I know that, for me, it happens far more often than I’d like to admit. I’ll see someone who I feel threatened by in a particular area and automatically avoid them like they’re Typhoid Mary. It’s almost like I can’t stand to be around someone who has a gift that exceeds mine. Too many times, this attitude prevents acquaintances from developing into beautiful friendships. 

Why do we react this way to certain people? Why do their gifts bother us when we know that God gave us our gifts just as He gave them theirs? I think oftentimes the answer is simple: pride. We are too prideful to appreciate our brothers and sisters in Christ for their gifts, especially if they have similar gifts to ours. We feel threatened by them because we’re afraid that through their use of the gift, our use will somehow be made “less special.” This, in fact, is not the case; rather the varying ways in which Christ’s people use their gifts serves to glorify Him more and to amplify the beauty of His church. We are not all made to be the same person. We are made to use our gifts in the way that God is calling us to do so. This doesn’t depreciate the value of the gift God has given you in any manner. He calls us to be beautiful in variety. We are all to fit together in such a way that no part of society is untouched by the Gospel of Christ.

Yet somehow, we still struggle with comparing ourselves to the person next to us. We see their inward and outward beauty, their gifts, everything that they have that we think makes them outshine us. This comes from a lack of focus on the right thing; we’re focusing on ourselves instead of the One whom we are called to focus on. When we’re focused on Christ, it doesn’t matter whether we’re better at something than someone else. It just doesn’t matter because the purpose of everything that we do should be to glorify God. Glorifying God may mean being ok with the fact that someone other than you claimed that particular award, or that certain job, or the affections of that man. It means being content with what God has given you, knowing that He has provided just exactly what you need for this time in your life. God is not overlooking your gift in that area, He’s simply telling you that He prefers to use your gift in a different way right now. He’s calling upon you to trust Him and you can trust Him. You can trust Him because of who He is: the holy King of all the earth who works all things for the good of those who love Him.

Love y'all!

Perfectionism...wait, did I spell check?

This is quite a hard confession for me, but it's also a necessary one: I'm not a perfect person. I have never been and I will never be, no matter how hard I try.

We all want to be perfect. Even if we accept the fact that we'll never perfect, most of us still try to be in at least one area of our lives. At least, I know I do.

Some of us try to be perfect in relationships, behaving in only certain ways in hopes that our parents, our friends, or cute guys will think well of us.

Others try to be perfect in our careers, pushing ourselves endlessly to work harder and being angry at ourselves when we fail.

Now, pushing for excellence in all that we do is a good thing. We bring honor and glory to the Lord when we work hard and persevere, even if the product (whatever the product may be) isn't exactly what we had planned on, but we need to realize the difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence.

Perfectionism always ends in failure. I mean, think about it, no matter how well we do, when we're being perfectionists, we're never happy with the result. We always think of something that we could have done better.  Perfectionism ends in negativism and causes people to not want to be around you because you're constantly complaining about or unhappy with your life.

Striving for excellence never fails. You know why? Because when we strive for excellence, no matter how it goes, we bring God glory. Though we may still make a mistake, when we strive for excellence and remain positive, we bring God glory. I find that when I'm striving for excellence I'm a far more positive person, than when I'm trying to be perfect. When we strive for excellence, we cause others to bless the Name of the Lord!

That's definitely something that I want; don't you?

Love,

Dating Part 1: Contentment

Hi, y'all!

I have a confession to make to you ladies: the reason I haven't posted in a while is because I've had quite a rough time figuring out what to say on the subject of contentment while not dating. It's been a struggle for me to write on this topic because, quite honestly, it's a personal struggle for me.

I'm one of those girls that has always been friends with guys (trust me, this is actually a blessing), yet they never seem to think of me as more than that. I've struggled with thoughts like, "Why doesn't he like me?"  "Am I really that unattractive?" and simply, "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" I know a lot of you can relate to these feelings and various others like them.

Most of us have seen at least one old movie in our lifetime. I love old movies; if I got a classic movie channel, I would be extremely unproductive. Anyway, we all know that at the end of an old movie, the handsome man gets the beautiful girl. Sometimes though in real life, the old movie thing doesn't quite work out. Sometimes the handsome man find a different girl; sometimes the handsome man doesn't feel the same way you do; and sometimes the handsome man ends up not having a handsome personality to match his looks.

If you're going through this right now, I want to speak directly to your heart: it's going to be ok. I know how it feels to think, "I thought he was wonderful! I thought he was the one!!! I'll never like another man!" What I've learned is that, no matter how great the guy that you're missing was, if he's not the one God has planned to be in your life, there's a better one for you out there; there's a better one out there for you!!! We may not feel like it, but God is gracious and doesn't let our current emotions change the truth.

God is not One who will give you second best. He has the best guy for you in His plans. The man who you marry won't be perfect, but he'll be the one you want to spend the rest of you life with, regardless of his flaws.

The most important One to remember, whether you're in a relationship currently or not, is God. God is the One who meets every need that you have. God is the One who loves you more than any imperfect man ever could. God is the One who will love you through everything, never destroy you, and work even the hardest parts of your life for your good. He's the One who wrote the definition of love! (See 1 Corinthians 13)

Psalm 63:3 says, "Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." Did you notice that the Psalmist says God's love for us is better than life? It's better than any other love we could ever find because love from sinful humans will be tainted by their sin and our sin. God's love is perfect and perfectly holy because He is perfect and perfectly holy. And to think that He loves us through Christ even though we ourselves are far from being perfect (or even mildly righteous)?! God is truly amazing!!!!

God's love will always be the best love we could ever find. In His timing, God will provide the right man for each of us who are ordained to be married. Don't despair here; most of us are ordained to be married and, if we're not, we're given special grace to handle it (Matthew 19:10-12; 1 Corinthians 7:1-7).

Until that time, celebrate that you are able to minister to your friends while you're single more often than you would be able to if you had a boyfriend (not saying boyfriends are bad, just saying take the opportunities that you're currently given). At all times, celebrate the Lord and praise Him for His wonderful works to the children of men (Psalm 107)!

In His perfect love,

SheSpeaks Scholarship Opportunity at SheSeeks.org!

Hi, y'all!

I just entered to win a scholarship to the She Speaks conference! Link: http://www.sheseeks.org/2011/she-speaks-scholarship/ 

It would be such a blessing for me to be able to attend SheSpeaks. I would love to learn from these women and be aided in growing my ability to teach God's Word.

In Christ, 

SheSpeaks Scholarship Story

Hi, y'all!

With another attempt to win a SheSpeaks Scholarship, here is a six word story that I wrote:

My heart. Won by Christ. Forever.

It's my life story and I hope you enjoyed reading it (short and to the point, though it may be). ;)

Here again is a link to the SheSpeaks Conference Website: http://shespeaksconference.com/

In His love,

Story Time....

Hi, y'all!

Today, it's story time! Enjoy!

Ava stared up at the sun as it glinted through the trees. This had always been one of her favorite places to come when life overwhelmed her.

She sat down underneath the big oak tree. In the patch of tiny pine trees, the oak stood out. She felt the oak a kindred spirit. She, too, felt an awkward addition to the group she was placed in. At work, she was the only Christian. Her refusal to go along with dishonest bookkeeping had cost her her job.

Work wasn't the only place she felt she didn't belong. She was also the only one of her close friends not yet married. Suzanna, who was two years her junior, had just married "the man of her dreams" last month.

Yes, Ava felt quite convinced that she was like the oak tree. Awkward, out of place, and lost in the sea of uniqueness.

She sighed as she looked up at the tree, its leafy boughs overshadowing her. Its leaves caught in the light, sparkling almost as if they were happy.

But how could one be happy when one stood out as the two of them did?

A Bible verse that she had memorized as a child came to her mind. It was from the Psalms.

“The LORD looks from heaven; He sees all the sons of men. From the place of His dwelling He looks On all the inhabitants of the earth; He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works.” (NKJV)

"He fashions their hearts individually...." Ava thought. "That means...He fashioned my  heart individually. He made me the person He wants me to be for His glory. He put me in the place He would have me to be. He didn't put me in these situations because He hates me; He put me in these situations for His glory and my good."

She smiled as she got up and started towards her house. She paused on the top of the hill, looking back at the oak.

Instead of seeing an out of place oak tree, she now saw a beauteously formed creation of God. A tree with a purpose and a calling: to stand apart from the others and shine forth the glory of God in His unique creation.

The point of the SheSpeaks Conference is to teach women how to help connect the hearts of other women with the heart of God, much as Ava's heart was connected to God's in this story. My heart is focused on serving God and others through whatever capacity God ordains for me to do so. As He leads, I pray that I may follow faithfully and always keep my eyes fixed on Him.

For a scholarship opportunity for the SheSpeaks Conference go here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/03/how-christians-create-art-she-speaks-scholarship/

And you can find out about about the conference here: http://shespeaksconference.com/

In Christ,

Overcoming Fear Through Christ....

Hi, y'all!

Starting Monday, I'm going to implement a new system. On months that have four Mondays, I plan to write four posts relating to the same topic. Months that have more than four Mondays will have four posts related to the same topic, followed by an additional post (either another post of the same topic or a post on another topic).

Today, however, I want to talk about fear. I'm personally afraid of several things. For example, I am extremely afraid of any kind of bug that stings. Seriously, if there's a wasp in the room, I'm outta here!

I'm not really sure where this fear comes from. I was stung by a wasp when I was little, but my fear seems to be a lot worse this year (I love flowers, but don't expect me to go near them unless they're in a vase in my house or it's freezing outside). Maybe it's due to the nest of yellow jackets that lived in our yard last year; we found out that they were in our yard, when the poor guy who mows our lawn was mowing near their nest. They were not happy about that and attacked him. I was inside at the time and still shiver at the thought of that.

Whatever the reason, I have literally been living in fear for most of the past several weeks. The weather's warmer, the flowers are blooming, and the bugs are out. I literally will not go check the mailbox when the mail comes.

Today, the opportunity came for me to take my dogs for a walk. I love my dogs immensely and spending time with them is one of my favorite things to do. I have felt too scared to venture out much with them recently and I really missed them.

I decided it was time to face my fears. No one can overcome your fears for you (not your husband, not your sister, not your mom, not your best friend). You just have to trust God and go for it. So, I prayed and I went. I enjoyed the walk very much, though there were couple of jumpy moments.

There are many Scripture verses about not fearing. Deuteronomy 31:6 is a personal favorite of mine. "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (NKJV)

Did you see that? Not only are we told not to fear, we are given the reason we shouldn't fear!

"for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you." [emphasis mine]

As Christians, the Lord is with us. We don't have to fear anything. Though physical harm may come (everything from bee stings to physical death), spiritual harm can never happen to a Christian (separation from God eternally). Paul discusses this in Romans 8:31-39, another favorite set of verses. :)

Though the fears that we have may be real and though they may seem overwhelming, they can be conquered. Our fears can be conquered because if Christ is our Saviour, what have we to fear?

Sometimes you just have pray and then to go ahead and do whatever it is that you're afraid to do (assuming that it's not sinful). For me that was opening my front door and stepping out without turning around and going back inside immediately. It was running through the yard with my dogs, playing among the flowers. I was scared, but the result of feeling happy that my fears didn't rule my life, the result of feeling like I trusted God a little more than I usually do (I still need to work of the slight paranoia), was completely and totally worth it.

Whatever you do, don't become prideful. If you start thinking, "I'm the one who did this. I'm so great. I did this all on my own," you are completely missing the point. The point is glorifying God, not glorifying yourself. The point is not fearing because God is with us; not being prideful because *I* gained the victory on my own.

Now to figure out how to overcome my fear of sharks...I don't know if shark-diving is quite the thing, but I know I can have victory over that fear in Christ.

Victory is ours in Christ, sisters, let's act like it. Act with faith; act without fear.

In Him,